Who Goes There? (Mr. D)

A couple of months ago, I had a phone conversation with a prospective parent. On the call, I answered many questions about our school from curriculum, to conflict resolution, to volunteering. This family would be moving from out of state and so they wanted to get as much information about us as possible before booking flights to come visit us. It was a great conversation and then she asked me one final question:  “who are the families that go there?”

Who are they?—I thought.

The question seemed an almost impossible thing to answer. How could I boil down our entire community succinctly, over the phone? Ok… maybe it wasn’t that hard in the end and I believe I did a pretty great job describing our community and who we are. I shared many of the values we all come together for to support and live by. But, her question has stuck with me over these last few months and I think I may have an even better answer now. I know there are many values we share here, but I think there’s one that we put first. Because, I believe the order of our values does matter. And before anything else; before we solve a problem; before we analyze and discuss; before everything else… being kind comes first.

Kindness is the root of a strong community. It’s the root of meaningful and successful collaboration and teamwork, and inclusivity. It’s the beginnings of sustainability even—treating our world with kindness. It’s the most basic value that we all choose to live. Being kind to each other, to people we meet in our everyday lives, even to the pesky telemarketer!

While we show up for our work each day—schoolwork or jobs—we aim to bring our best to the table. We value hard work, creativity, problem solving, honoring the whole child (and whole person). But, to do all of these things, we have to exist together in a community. And that’s true for everything and everywhere. Whether it’s where you work, our community at DGS, or the community of Davidson or Mecklenburg County. Communities may get bigger, but we’re all existing within it together. Everyone has their job, has goals, has dreams, fears, doubts, and frustration. Everyone struggles at times, and everyone gets to be the supporter at times. But, we all exist with each other, and we all choose how those interactions will go—especially when we get frustrated or even angry. That’s when the choice matters even more. And we may not always succeed, but I would bet big that we are all committed to the practice of kindness… first.

And so if I get that question again, this will be my answer. We are a community of people who prioritize kindness first and foremost. We assume positive intentions. We give the benefit of the doubt. We voice our concerns to a friend and peer with respect and with the intention of seeking understanding.

It’s the most basic of values. And I think we all live with this in our minds. Whether we always succeed or not, we practice kindness. And doing so, we spread kindness. And that’s a really amazing thing. Every action carries energy and creates a ripple in this world, and I think we’re making a true difference by following this idea. I really do.

I think some people in the world see kindness as weakness, or rather that to show strength one must be aggressive, mean, or gain superiority over another/others. But I think it takes great internal strength and self confidence to be kind in the face of disagreement. Kindness doesn’t mean we shy away from struggle, or back down from adversity. It just means we have a different goal in mind. People who lead with superiority aim to “win” over another. People who lead with kindness aim to build bridges between others, to connect and create something stronger. That’s the choice we’re making each day—to lead with kindness—and it’s a powerful one. And I hope (I know!) you all feel as committed to this ideal as I do.

So, what do you think? How would you answer this parent’s question? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Comment below!

And, in the meantime, keep changing the world, everyone!

Mr. D